Dear Friend,
Again, I've started to write to you a few times this week, but distractions have cornered me. It seems whenever I get halfway through a letter to you, Life calls and I must answer, and that has me discarding my letter for one reason or another.
So, I'm going to write a quick thought then go, before Life demands attention once more. :) (It has a habit of sneaking up on me when I least expect it.)
I've been observing lately how anger has the power to alter a person's values. When in a calm state of mind, one can give love, peace, goodwill, forgiveness, faithfulness, and so on, and really mean it, but toss in anger, altering one's mood, and all these things, and more, can fly out the window.
In seeing this, I am aware that God is not like that. God does not change. He stays true to His values/morals/standards/character no matter what's going on around Him. He doesn't sway as we do. He doesn't throw tantrums. He stays true. He stays 'Himself'. He remains stable, and, therefore, can be trusted and relied upon. Whereas, mix a human with anger and we're more than likely to discard all that we loved only five minutes earlier; turn our backs on those we claimed we'd be friends with forever; give up on our marriage; justify unfaithfulness; damn and curse those we'd never damn and curse when we're of a 'sound mind'... and so on.
We give up when we're angry. We damn others and things to hell. We hiss and curse and carry on seeking 'justice' and 'vengeance' and anything else that will appease our flesh, all the while giving our 'just' excuses... and quite often regret it all once anger subsides.
The Bible doesn't tell us not to get angry. Rather, it says we are not to sin in our anger. Tim said to me the other day that while I may have held anger, I wasn't sinning with it. But, on closer evaluation, I realise I was. I withheld love. I pulled away. I gave up. I pulled back. I judged. I didn't reach out. I didn't help. I was a silent rebel. I didn't stay true to love... and God wants LOVE to rule in my heart, and in my life, at all times...
I must meditate upon this more... I want to be an expression of God's love. I don't want anger to alter that. I don't want anger, period! I am not overflowing with anger. I don't snap at everything. But there are buttons one can press, that I possess, and there are things that irritate me pretty darn quickly, and my response is to put aside LOVE and appease my flesh, therein altering my values and going on to sin in my anger...
So, I repent of said anger, receiving God's forgiveness and simply opening my heart up to Him for further examination and growth...
A few days ago, I noted that when I start to feel vulnerable, anger wants to rise up and protect me, and on observing this, I've found the only way to stay open to God and His truth, is to offer praise. I find that in praising Him for who He is, for His goodness, love, mercy, grace and so on, and praising Him for all the good things that are in my life, my heart remains open to Him, and I can handle the vulnerability with peace and hope, rather than with fear and anger...
So, I'm off to praise Him... and, in doing so, I know He'll be free to continue to work on this heart of mine, to speak truth into my heart, heal it, and set me free even more, and LOVE will have its way...
Catch you soon! :D
Love and blessings
Donna
xoxoxox