It's day 1 of 2012. And with it comes a need to be close to God again... For Him, I thirst...
It doesn't matter what has come against me to cause me to grow cold in heart, but as time goes by and my heart is warmed by His love and presence once more, chances are I'll reveal bit by bit how this came to be. I would so rather speak of such things from a healed heart than a weary one. And right now I am still weary in heart. When His love has revived me, I shall be strong enough to be more open with you, re my heart and where it's at and has been.
In times prior to my heart starting to cool, I wrote often and from the warm depths of the intimate relationship I share with God. Or, should I say, that I have shared with God. The wearier my heart became, the more space I allowed to come between me and God. The more space that came between me and God the less clearly I could hear His Spirit, and, try as I might to write, I lost the depth and power that I once possessed in this area - that came from being intimate with Him. I kept trying to write, for passion urges me to, but I have known for a long time that my words are weak in comparison to what they have been, and can be, with God's love to empower them. I want that back.
Experience has taught me that when I walk close to God, my heart is far more open than it has been in the pages of this website - and I ache to have that back. I ache to be intimate with God again, to find myself free and open in the warm depths of His heart, and to be warm-hearted and open to all once again.
I know what it's like to live in my Father's kingdom - in His presence. I want that back, also. Nothing I have found in the wilderness comes close to the peace, love, joy and contentment I had there - and will have again.
Why did I leave it if it was so good? I allowed weariness and bitterness to enter my heart, and, with one step, one thought at a time, I followed these things - these powers! - away from God. I've wandered so far from Him I can barely see the kingdom anymore, but I KNOW it's there - I know that from personal experience - and I want to be there again. So.......
God, I'm coming Home - back to Your heart. I know You never closed the doors on me. I know You never sent me away. And I know You will welcome me with open arms, and with tears of joy. For this I thank You with ALL my heart... Thank You for making it so easy for me to come home; to have access to Your kingdom; to have access to the intimate depths of Your heart... and thank You for sending Your Son and Your Spirit to rescue me, and to help me receive that "easy access" to You... Thank You for not giving up on me. I love You...
And to you, my dear friend, I wish you a very happy and blessed New Year. I pray peace, joy, love and hope find you wherever you are...
See you soon. :)
All my love,
Donna.
xxxxxxx