It's been awhile since I've written. I do apologise for that. I've not had much to chat about - well, nothing I thought of any great interest, that is. But today I just feel the need to open up my heart and pour my thoughts out. Feel free to tune out when the urge arises. :)
I was actually thinking about our attitude when it comes to repentance. We find ourselves guilty of a sin, of hurting someone, of doing wrong, of stepping out of God's will, and we ache to the point of great repentance. We then work our way through it and willingly accept mercy and grace - though that's not as always as easy as it sounds, but we'll do it because we don't want to carry that shame anymore.
In repenting, in coming to terms with what we are guilty of, we may even pray that no one else finds out or gets wounded by what we've done. And we seek, with all our heart, the peace and freedom given in being forgiven and becoming aware that we are.
Then there are those times when others sin against us, and all the mercy and grace we sought from God is locked away somewhere deep in our conscience and all we have to offer the one who has wronged us is pure anger and a need to serve justice.
We forget that Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone..." and we throw our stones, be it with fists, our words, or any other way that will work to bring another person to their knees. We forget that Jesus said to forgive as He has forgiven us. We forget that we are to love - even our enemies... and we justify our anger, and the vengeance we seek, in any way we can, claiming, "They deserve what they get!"
I'm not here to point fingers. I'm not here to condemn. I'm here to simply stand up and confess, with all my heart, that I am a sinner, too.
Today, I drop the stones I've carried in my heart, the ones I've longed to throw at those who have wounded me. And I repent for the hardness and selfishness of my heart. And, with all I am, I ask that you forgive any and all grievances I have brought into your life... and I ask that God grant me a heart like His Son's, so I, too, may learn to love as He loved us, and forgive as He has forgiven us, and lay down my life for a friend rather than seek to hurt an "old one."