In the first paragraph of Felicia's testimony, I find I instantly relate to what she's saying. I hear her when she speaks of comfort food; of using food to bring comfort to a soul that is hurting and doesn't know how to deal with that ache. I think that, more than anything, has developed into a habit for me over the years.
Can't you hear my, or your, soul saying, "Of course all is well! Pass the chocolate, please..." when inside there's a grieving that simply will not be silenced...?
I have done that many times during the course of my life, and I still find myself doing it.
When I am depressed, I think, "I don't deserve any better than junk anyway."
When I am angry, I think, "Stuff it! I'll eat what I want!" and believe I've some sort of power there, almost feeling as though I am punishing 'whoever' by my being overweight... Well, the 'whoever' is usually Tim.
When I am content, if it's there I'll eat it, with little thought of what weight I am, all worry shoved aside.
There are many reasons that I reach for food, I'm sure... all of which, I do not doubt, need to be dealt with...
Anyway... I need to continue reading Felicity's story:
And what speaks to me most re Felicity's story is where she states, "How arrogant, inconsiderate and selfish of me to slowly kill myself and expect my loved ones to help me, take care of me and mourn my loss when I finally succeeded in it!"
NOTE TO SELF: Stop believing you're no great loss to the world - to those who love you! And start seeing what you are costing others in what you do.
Another note: I am making this all about losing weight. But that's simply the #1 goal I've focused on. I must not lose sight of the fact that I am here to find motivation; to get up out of the slump I'm in and LIVE again!
Time to return back to http://zenhabits.net/get-off-your-butt-16-ways-to-get-motivated-when-youre-in-a-slump/ I was inspired by Felicity's story, but one story isn't enough. I will continue to read more success stories in the area of my chosen goal...
But right now, I'm wondering what advice Leo Babauta offers after #3 'Get excited!'
So it's back to my SECOND blog, I go: http://keyverse.weebly.com/11/post/2011/12/day-ones-first-lot-of-notes.html
See you there!