WOW! Doesn't feeling restrained zap all motivation! Well, it works that way with me. Possessing a sense of freedom in what I do, or in what I choose to do, has proven to motivate me to be and do 'whatever' I've wanted to do over the past few weeks (without stealing time and energy from others) and, in this, what my hands needed to do seemed less of a task and far more enjoyable and rewarding! Including losing weight and tending to housework!
Then, suddenly, while in mid flight, enjoying the freedom presented me, while my eye was set on a particular destination and what I imagined that destination would look like, I've all but flown head on into a brick wall and quickly learned that the freedom of choice, and the agenda I had designed, have been altered by circumstances, and that instantly moved to restrain me, and down I came, from skies so clear and blue, to land face first in muddy waters. Or so it felt...
Now, here I sit, feeling as though I've had my wings clipped, and, because of it, I find, once again, that I'm clinging to the weight of "why bother?!" and really not wanting to get up and go again.
What really intrigues me in the depths of this 'moment' is having my eyes open to why overeating and laziness (among other bad habits, I'm sure) is something I struggle to get away from... It's because I have freedom to eat, and freedom to be lazy - or, rather than 'lazy' let's say I have freedom not to go for a walk, not to lift my hand to anything I feel can wait or is an inconvenience, such as making my bed, writing the great Australian novel, or whatever else there is that my hand 'should' be doing and would choose to do under more favourable circumstances. I have control in these areas - eating and laziness - and no one can take it from me. And while not tending to these things may be on par with shooting myself in the foot, I take advantage of that control, and I do so with passion - though that passion be laced with the poison of bitterness.
So, through experience of late, I've come to see that freedom motivates.
No wonder Jesus' offer of "come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest" and the Biblical truth "it is for freedom that Christ died to set us free" is so darn attractive...
But I don't want the freedom to shoot myself in the foot. No, wait, I do want the freedom to shoot myself in the foot if that be my choice! I want the freedom to eat and not to eat. I want some sort of control over my own life... But, more importantly, I want the freedom to be the best me I can be under any circumstance that comes upon me. I want to sense freedom even in the midst of the deepest, darkest trial. And I know, that even if I were chained, even if my feet were shackled and my hands were bound, Jesus can reach into the depths of my soul and give me a sense of freedom that no one and nothing else can... And that I want... so...
"Jesus... in this area, as You have in other areas, please set me free..."
...and now it's up to me to use the freedom I do possess to follow Him into greater freedom...
1The Year of the LORD’s Favor 1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.