Thursday, June 7, 2012
Secret Women's Business
What will you tell your daughters...?
When I was a little girl, the fairytales spoke of a woman as being "Beauty", whom all we little girls longed to be. We wanted to be the princess of the story. We wanted the hero to ride in on his stallion, rescue us from everyone and everything, sweep us up off our feet, and ride off into the sunset with us, where we would live happily ever after.
Then the teen years ripped us from the fairytales and tossed us into a pit of reality, where most of us soon learned that we were not Beauty, nor would we ever be. In fact, I dare say few of us made it through our teens without being ridiculed in some way, for some reason, and left lying on the side of Life's road, broken and bruised and drowning in the tears of our own sorrow. Like arrows in a bullseye, the honed words of one bully/abuser or another hit us where it hurt the most, leaving us damaged in one way or another. And we waited, and waited, and longed for, and waited some more, for the hero that never came.
By the time we reached adulthood, most of us women had come to believe that there are no real heroes, there are far more tears of sorrow than happy endings, 'beautiful' is something we can't remember feeling, and we couldn't possibly be the princess when we are such a loser...
As an adult, I viewed the fairytales of old as a cruel joke. How dare they tell us that we have to be physically beautiful to be worthy of love! How dare they tell us we have the power to kiss a frog and transform him into a prince, when in actual fact we kiss a guy we believe is a prince and he turns out to be nothing but a toad! How dare they build our hopes for an inevitable fall...!
But, lately, when I stop and view what we're telling our daughters now, through advertising, through television programs and so on, I think I'd rather hand my daughters a fairytale; but with it I would add a note telling them that when the hero slips off his horse and falls face first into the mud, and when they cannot see the beauty of the person in the mirror, and when they concern themselves with the ending of their story so much so they forget to live Today, they don't need to give up on love, but, rather, let love see the hope and the possibilities within, and beyond, every situation facing them. I would tell them true beauty is in the heart. I would have them set a standard of inner beauty for themselves, and tell them not to let anyone drag them down beneath it. I would tell them to stand guard of their own heart, rather than wait for 'man' to do it.
But even in handing them their own heart, beauty and story, I am still worried about what our daughters are being told - or sold - these days. I worry about what they are buying into, and the fact they're paying with their heart, soul and self-worth.
If there ever were a hero to defend a woman and her virtues, he belongs to times long gone, it seems. Our daughters are being told it's not only ok to flaunt all they've got for all to see, but it's ok just to give it away freely, as well.
No one's telling them that what they are giving away for free will cost them in the long run.
No one's telling them that the beauty of the physical fades and men will stop looking at them, and that will leave them feeling worthless... when they are not.
No one's telling them that in giving themselves away cheaply they have next to no chance of ever finding a hero, because he doesn't have to fight for her these days; he doesn't have to pay for her with strength, character or heart. Why pay for what you can get for free?
No one's telling our daughters that when they give themselves to the one who simply pays them the most attention, that the attention span of the one fondling and ogling for free will soon dwindle and go elsewhere.
No one's telling our daughters that many men are celebrating their naked beauty solely so they can get a free look at it.
No one's telling our daughters that they deserve to be treated like ladies, like the princesses of the stories, like the Beauty God created them to be...
We live in a fast-service world. A "drive-thru" world, where we can get what we want almost as quickly as we can snap our fingers. It's a world where Beauty is applauded if it's naked. A world where that which pleases our loins is worth more than the heart of the one we're ogling.
We are training our daughters to give themselves away freely, and we're training our sons to take advantage of this.
We have shown our daughters that their beauty resides in their physical appearance, but what they don't realise is that that's not the truth, either.
The worth of a woman is hardly ever measured by their heart these days. But, rather, it's often based on how greatly we women effect the crotch of another.
I'm not saying all men are like that! I know not all men are like that!!! I know that...!! But, ladies, don't kid yourselves. You do know the ones who treat you like that. If you stop and look, and be honest with yourself, you know who they are. And you know you want better... You deserve better, just because you're a child of God. And our daughters deserve better, too... but who is going to tell them...?