My first revelation on this particular journey
Along with my hubby and youngest daughter, I returned to church this morning... It was so good to see familiar hearts and faces and to be hugged by their love again. For the first time in many more months than I was absent from church, I felt like I was with family again. Like I said before, there are some really beautiful people in church...
It was during this morning's sermon that I received the first revelation I'm to be given on this particular path. I suddenly realised I do want to be intimate with God again, yes, more than anything, but I don't need the dreams or visions or 'office' I once held.
I don't need a position in His kingdom restored; I just need my relationship with Him restored. I don't need to be exalted and "raised up" in any way. I am happy just to be back in His courts. I am grateful just to be with Him again, even if being with Him means to live in the shadows of a million others, to be last on the list, or to have nothing entrusted into my hands again.
I just want God... and where that leads is up to Him, with no demands from me.
While I pondered this, and felt a little bit more of my heart return to me, it opened my heart to clumsily scribble down the following:
~*~
Lord, I don't want to leave this place the same
- I want my heart changed
Lord, I don't want this rock I call a heart
- please take from me this useless part
~ Renew a right spirit in me ~
Lord, I want to open up my heart and love again
- please take this bitterness
Lord, I fall to my knees asking you to change me
- take this unrighteous anger I've confessed
~ Renew a right spirit in me ~
~*~
To which I now add:
Lord, receive my gratitude and praise
- as I humble myself at Your feet
Lord, I can live without the glory and the fame
- it's You my heart seeks
~ Please renew a right spirit in me ~
- as I humble myself at Your feet
Lord, I can live without the glory and the fame
- it's You my heart seeks
~ Please renew a right spirit in me ~
*The above mentioned sermon was given on May 27, 2012 ~ and will be uploaded to the church site this coming week...