I love being 46! I seriously do. In fact, within the next several weeks I'll be turning 47 and already the celebrations have started in my soul!
At this age, I have come to see that I don't have to compete in the cosmetic world to be deemed acceptable. And not just because I'm married, but because I've realised that if a guy only wants me for my looks then he doesn't want me but an image he can use to feed his ego. And God knows I've gotten to an age, or a stage, in my life when I in no way celebrate the feeding of someone's ego!
Honestly, life's too short to be somebody's ego food. I encourage my husband, and highlight his good points, for sure, but feeding his ego is a thing of the past. And if he were to feed mine I'd probably have to slap him and tell him to wake up to himself! :)
In fact, the thought of feeding someone's ego, as I did when I was younger, sickens me. It angers me, even. I won't willingly be used like that again. I deserve better. YOU deserve better.
Mind you, not only is it "his" ego I do not wish to serve, but my own also. Confidence is one thing, and is needed to help you accomplish many tasks in this world, but ego - the part of the soul that seeks to raise itself above others; that wants to constantly prove its own worth no matter how many other souls it puts down in the process - is not something I desire to have in me, either.
In my insecurity, vanity told me I wasn't good enough. Vanity told me I wasn't pretty enough, thin enough, 'perfect' enough. And ego mourned bitterly over such matters. Now, being at peace with my age I have become comfortable in my own skin, and not being 'pretty enough' 'thin enough' 'perfect enough' is good enough for me! I'm over apologising for what I do or do not look like.
Tim may wake up one morning and decide I'm not "enough" anymore and find younger. I very much doubt he ever would do that to his family, but, it's possible, isn't it. And, knowing that, I don't fret over the thought of it happening - though I know tears will be shed - but, rather, I realise that pain passes and love will come again, and if a man's ego insists on standing in the way of true love, then by all means let ego move out so true love can move in.
Life is not a fashion parade. Love is not based on appearances. Life has far more depth than the cosmetic world could ever offer. Love possess far more beauty than an image or an ego ever could. And age is not to be feared but celebrated... but don't wait until you're "old" to celebrate life; do it now, no matter what your time of life.
You only get one dance around this big planet, so why dance in the shadows of "man's" ego - be it yours or someone else's...? Enjoy the music. Listen for it with your heart. Feel the beat of life within your own soul. Step into the freedom born of a silenced ego... Be free! Live! Be YOU!!! :D xxx